Personal/Serious | Girls should not swear? Hell no!

>>NSFW, super scary female profanity below!<<

You know what really bugs me? When someone strolls up to you and states that 'it's unladylike to swear.' 

Well fuck me, is that the fucking case? 

I was once called out on my sailor mouth by a stranger. The pavements were slick due to rain or whatever and I slipped and nearly fell over. Naturally and without much thought I said 'Whoa, shit!'

This random dude dropped that line on me. 'It's unattractive to swear.'

You know what? These kind of situations make me wonder what he'd say if I was a male. Nothing probably. The worst is being chided by people for saying 'hell.'

Can I say heck then? What about gosh darn it? Golly? Gee whizz? Swell?

The truth is, girls shouldn't put up with this crap. 
I mean, I don't usually swear that often, though it's not because I'm against it.

It's fine for people to not want someone who swears a lot, but it's also fine for me to want somebody that I don't have to censor myself around.
In a social situation I really do not care if someone is swearing. 
Most normal people don't care and it's fine. 
It's not like I'm going to get cancer of the ear-hole due to hearing a few 'fucks' getting thrown around.

In a formal/working/business situation it might matter, sure, I relent to that prospect. Certain situations call for more discreet language to be used, I get that. 
But that doesn't mean that it's a-okay for someone else to tell me that I shouldn't swear in a situation where they 

A.) aren't my boss or
B.) aren't the parents of small children that I'm directly interacting with.

There's a big difference between, 'I don't like it when you swear,' and, 'You shouldn't swear, ever.' 

The aforementioned reasoning that I shouldn't swear because it is 'unattractive' is also pretty presumptuous. I'm not walking down the streets on a raining day thinking about how attractive/unattractive I am to strangers. 

Hell, I have a boyfriend, so I don't care what you think!
Not that having a boyfriend/girlfriend matters. Lots of people don't give a damn what strangers think about anyway. When I was single I didn't care much about it., like, at all.

By all means, those people can make judgments about girls who dare to swear, it's their god-given right. 

But please, if you fall into this category, keep your bloody opinions to yourself.

Music | My most-listened-to-songs as of right now

I thought I would indulge everyone by introducing you to some of the tracks I'm  listening to, usually when I'm busy with uni work, applying for volunteer work or when I'm having a jogging sesh on the running machine.... 

 Sia - Elastic Heart feat. Shia LaBeouf & Maddie Ziegler (Official Video) SiaVEVO

In spite of the strange music video starring actor Shia Labeouf and quirky interpretive child-dancer Maddie Ziegler, I really do love this song. 

I often find that I've listened to it on repeat for maybe, err, two hours? Much to the annoyance of anyone within my vicinity...

The powerful vocals often soar to dizzying heights and overall I think it a great modern power ballad that oozes gusto and bounce! 

Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair Avi Kaplan & Peter Hollens AviKaplan

You may recognize Avi Kaplin as the basso profondo singer from the prolific group Pentatonix. Well, in this rendition of an old folk song, you'll be happy to know that his voice reaches an all time low... in a good way! The low bass vocals gave me chills 

I am a huge fan of folks song being revised and adapted using technology and new vocal techniques, and this one gets a thumbs up from me. 

         Jess Glynne - Hold My Hand [Official Video]

I really loved Clean Bandit's catchy tune "Rather be" (in which Jess Glynne was a featured artist.) Now, the young brit has reached number one with the her first solo hit!

The redheaded siren's soulful, honest voice is the perfect polish for this pop number! Here's hoping we here much more from this lass in the future!

Personal/Serious | The Choice to be Childfree

Google images: Parenthood to me is just another version of keeping up with the Jones' and I can't buy into it.

Throughout a large chunk of history, a woman's main civic duty was to

A.) give birth and 
B.) raise a family

Even today, 20-something's are often viewed skeptically if they have the pluck to say; 

"I'm not sure if I even want kids, like, ever." 

As a young woman myself, I have experienced my fair share of odd glances for stating my preference to remain child-free. 
I've been told by men and women that my "biological clock will start ticking" or that "I'll change my mind" at some point. 

I really wish I had consulted the all-seeing knowledge of these people sooner. They clearly have such easy access to my inner thoughts, they may as well be fortune-tellers. I wish I could predict a person's future with such accuracy...

I digress. Seriously, I've met pretty much complete strangers who have inquired about whether I was going to give birth any time soon. 

Hmm. So from personal experience, I'd say that women are still expected to want babies while they are "young." 

More often than not though, having children inevitably means sacrificing autonomy, carefree independence and a massive amount of money...speaking of which. 
Despite going to university and accumulating student debt, my parents have also casual mentioned the idea of starting a family recently. 
Despite, you know, being a penniless student. It's probably an innocent enough question, but still. 

Anyhow. 
Thanks to the intervention of that pesky feminist movement a couple 'o' decades back, freedom of choice is a thing that a lot of women now greatly appreciate. 

Granting women access to the vote, the public workplace and higher education was a tremendous step in the right direction, to be sure. 
But for some reason, people as a whole can't seem to shake off the idea that all women are "potential mothers," first and foremost. 

Just so that there are no hurt feelings, I'll type the following out in caps.

>>THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WOMEN WANTING TO HAVE CHILDREN. IF THAT IS WHAT SAID WOMAN AND SAID WOMAN'S PARTNER WANTS, THEN THAT IS FINE.<< 

However, I am definitely under the impression that lots of girls may end up having children simply because they feel that "its just what a women is supposed to do." Or they are unsure about what they want, so they end up having children and regretting it later. 
It's not a crime for a woman to say, "I know I f*cked up. I love my kids, but deep down I know that I'm really not built to be a mother."

Look, I actually don't mind kids myself. Really. Children can make me laugh. They can be endearing, funny, loving and surprisingly insightful ... Sometimes.

They can also be loud, rude, spiteful, bickering little toe-rags that drink up your life essence like mini Count Dracula's. (FYI, I've traveled on public transport enough to know what I'm talking about folks).

I wholeheartedly believe that the so-called "best parents in the world" will go through the tedious experience of dragging their bawling child wildly through the middle of a super market at least once. 

And I haven't even mentioned the teenage years yet. I won't go there, I swear I'll start having PTSD flashbacks. 


So I guess if I could say anything it would be this. Ladies, you have a choice. You don't need to have children to be a happy, fulfilled and well-rounded person. We live in a overpopulated world that really, lets face it guys, doesn't require any more people anyway. So it's no big deal. 

Video games | Five Nights at Freddy's, the movie?

Google Images: Will it work? Probably not. 

I just found out about this. Personally, I think the film will just be a series of jump scares every five minutes. 
I'm skeptical as to how this would work as a movie. Lots of people are saying that FNAF didn't focus specifically on mechanics, instead focusing on claustrophobic atmosphere, looming tension and jump scares, things which they argue can easily be adapted to a movie.There are loooads of fan theories floating around about the games "hidden" story, which is uncovered subtly and gradually over the course of the three games. Hopefully the film could expand upon these theories and cement the lore into already interested fans whilst simultaneously piquing the interest of newbies. 

Speaking for myself, I think that the story in these games is so cryptic and simplistic that it doesn't at all lend itself to being a full length movie. From what I've seen online, the joy and the payoff of the video game is mostly in the endless internet theorizing. If 

FNAF were told to you in a linear fashion, it risks sucking the fun right out of the game.

People do love to play it on Youtube and I guess watching people jump is more entertaining than the games are themselves.

But one thing is for sure. The large, cultish fanbase invests a LOT of time in producing fanfiction, artwork and narratives about the animatronics, even going so far as to "ship" the critters. 
So this film will be a big deal, regardless of whether the film is good or not. 
Hopefully, Roy Lee, Seth Grahame-Smith and David Katzenberg will produce an adaptation worthy of note.

LGBT | Gays and Lesbians in video games (bit of a rant!)

Google Images: The world would implode! Or not. 

Looking through this massive list of LGBT characters represented in video games makes me happy to say the least. It's great that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are getting their screen-time, especially on a medium as popular as video gaming.

However, I still find that I have a bone to pick when it comes to the representation of these groups.

LGBT characters first began appearing in the 1980's. Ever heard of Birdo? 
He was arguably one of the first (it was certainly Nintendo's first) trangender creation, though there has been a lot of confusion surround the character's gender identity.

Of course, Birdo is bright pink in color with fabulously long eyelashes, wearing a cute red bow on his head. The shocker was Birdo was biologically male. 
He just looked and dressed like a "female." 
But why was Birdo made to look like this exactly? 
Obviously, not all girls like pink and those who do identify as feminine do NOT necessarily have to be super pretty-looking, wearing bows in their hair and possessing massive eyelashes. I assume this representation was popular because back in the 80's, people probably viewed gender as binary, strictly male (strong, male, blue etc) and female (dainty, female, pink etc). Since Birdo behaved and dressed up like a stereotypical female, he was depicted as a "girl" in the gaudiest sense of the word, maybe to avoid confusing the audience too much..?

But as I'm sure you know, sex and gender expression are two very different things. 

Sex is your assigned biological genetic trait, either you have testes or ovaries. But gender expression is a much more complicated issue than biological sex. Gender expression is often molded by the multitude of social and cultural pressures surrounding gender roles, therefore gender expression runs along a spectrum. For example, a gay man can be a muscular, strong gym-bunny and he could also be completely obsessed with his pet cats and floral knitwear designs. A lesbian doesn't necessarily have to be "butch"; she can still wear dresses and make-up whenever she pleases. All these traits don't have to be fixed. Gender expression can certainly fluctuate. People may not identify as any gender at all!

Yet people still often conflate gender and sex. Traditionally, if you were born with a penis, you are masculine, like girls and therefore wear blue trousers and like football. If you were born with a vagina, you are feminine, like boys, wear pink, flowery dresses and play with tea sets. End of discussion.

Birdo (called Ostro in the first edition manual of Super Mario Bros 2, presumably by mistake) is allegedly a biological male, yet since he'd rather be a girl, he has this wholly "hyper girly" appearance. Though this was a bold statement at the time and a (very) wobbly step in the right direction, this depiction also continued to strengthen the idea that stereotypically feminine identities are strictly pink, pretty, dainty and cutesy. The trangender character Poison from Final Fight and Street Fighter also has bright pink hair, purple accessories and a hyper feminine appearance too.

Birdo and Poison's depiction ultimately entrenches the idea that a male to female transgenders will switch into a highly stereotypical example of a "female", an oversimplification of gender expressionism that leads to the more nuanced subtleties of gender formation getting brushed aside, or ignored entirely. And I haven't even got started on the more problematic stuff.

But what I find most problematic about these types of characters is that, instead of being revolutionary, this gender confusion was used solely to comic effect. 
You know, har de har, that man thinks he's a women LOL LMAO ROFL. 

Stock photo: Mass Effect 3 where things got steamy...

Admittedly, there has been some change over the years. Games such a Fallout 2, Elder Scrolls: Skyrim and Mass Effect 3 give players the opportunity to choose either a male or female character, with which they can pursue an LGTB relationship over the course of the story. This is certainly a good thing, since the inclusion of previously ignored minorities opens the gaming doorway to real communities of people. 

I am a huge LGTB supporter myself and I find that being gay, lesbian, trans or bi has been the central, defining trait of LGTB characters for too long, rather than just a single part of their persona.

The first characters that spring to my mind when I think of very well-rounded LGTB characters are Ellie and Riley from Naughty Dog's The Last of Us.

Stock Photo: Riley and Ellie are young, but their emotions are portrayed as genuine; a real step forward.

The unique portrayal of their LGTB status was quite honestly, outstanding. Ellie's relationship with her best friend Riley is particularly touching, as demonstrated in the DLC content The Last of Us: Left Behind.
The constant camaraderie, with the dancing scene followed by the quick, awkward, passionate teenage kiss, forms a solid platform which other gaming developers can spring from.  
They are by far my favorite depictions of LGTB characters to date. 
Ellie and Riley are not portrayed as simple stereotypes or silly cameos and their identities are not left vague or confusing to the viewer. 
They have stand-out personalities that jump out of the screen and strike you as real. 

But there are still problems the gaming world faces today. 
In the real world, deviating from the heterosexual norm can sometimes be nothing less than social suicide, even in 2015. LGTB individuals (or more accurately, people who have defied their cultural gender norms) have historically been depicted as "weird, unnatural" misfits. 
Stigma is very hard to shake off, which is probably why a homosexual, transsexual or gender deviant character hasn't quite stood out in the gaming spotlight as a protagonist. 

As well as the actual games themselves, the very people playing them can cause huge problems for LGTB people.

For example, Call of Duty players have a bad rep for being blatantly homophobic online, with words like "faggot" getting thrown around very, VERY often. But the truth is, most online players use "gay" and other derogatory words associated with homosexuality to insult each other, even if it is meant to be playful. It is becoming a part of the regular lexicon. 
Harassment is sadly commonplace, especially if a gamer admits to being homosexual. Women and girls experience negativity too. 
"Get back in the kitchen, c*nt" is an expression heard too often by female gamers. I should know. 

Hopefully the gaming community will only continue to challenge gender roles and stereotypes, developing LGBT characters that will be believable, relateable, well written and lovable, just as any straight character is made to be.

Relationships♥ | Long-distance relationships

Long distance relationships have had a bad reputation, lets face it. Lonely nights, creeping doubts and jealousy can certainly poison a previously flourishing close-distance relationship.  

But long distance relationships are happening more and more, due to differing career lifestyles or difficult living situations. The age of the internet has brought about an era of online dating, sexting and raunchy Skype escapades that make even transatlantic separation comfortably bearable. 

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is often recited to new lovers embarking on their first LDR, but living away from your partner can also make you grow as an individual too. Having time to yourself can make you evaluate your relationship and think about what you value in the person you are having a LDR with. 

Since I am currently in a LDR myself (we see each other once every two to three weeks) I thought I should impart some nifty little tips for those of you out there who are also in a similar, solitary situation.

♥ Utilize social media to communicate! I cannot stress this enough. Skype is a particular blessing for LDRs, since it gives you that special face-time, but Facebook, Twitter and mobile contact are all just as useful for maintaining a bond. You can also use multiplayer video gaming sessions to reinforce your bonds, unless either you or your significant other is an angry gamer..!

♥ Arrange a time when you can speak to each other. Of course this will take some planning if you live in different time zones or have a busy work schedule, but the task is not insurmountable! 

♥ Enjoy the time you DO have together! Maybe go on a romantic walk together or have a lovely dinner at a restaurant after a trip to the cinema. If you are strapped for cash, a simple night indoors watching a film will certainly suffice, as will doing a sporty activity together or even indulging each other in a massage session! Any of these activities can reaffirm your love for each other. Get creative!

♥ Trust is vital.  If you don't know your relationship well enough to continue believing in it, then your long distance relationship will definitely be a bust. Honest and open communication is required when you do get in contact. AND NEVER ACCUSE YOU PARTNER OF BEEN UNFAITHFUL. All this does is introduce suspicion and doubt, so keep any dark, jealous thoughts under control!  If you want to talk about insecurities you may have, do it calmly and thoughtfully. 

♥ Though you will want to speak with him/her constantly, you really need to give your partner space. Avoid the temptation to control where your partner is and what they are doing in order to speak to you. The funny thing is, you can completely smother a person even if you do live miles apart! Let them do their own thing, even if it means not talking for a day or two. 

Chatter + Natter | Meghan Trainor

Google images: Body positive!! Unless you're skinny, then go f*ck yourself.

First off, I'll start by saying that I'm not a fan of Meghan's songs personally so I may rant. Sorry in advance for any offence caused.  

All about that Bass promoted thicker girls, but then dissed skinny girls, for being well... skinny. Like, excuse me missus! Not all skinny girls enjoy being skinny! I for one find being skinny a pain in the bum to find clothes that fit me properly.

And what about the "stick figure silicone Barbie doll" line? 

Imagine if all of this was flipped. A song about how size zero is what you're supposed to be, calling bigger girls fat bitches. Why can't we all love our bodies without putting down other women or body types?

Skinny women can have problems just as much as larger women and their experiences are equally valid.

Maybe Meghan's intentions were different, but to me the Bass song just came off as "guys like curvy girls, so fuck you skinny bitches."

Meghan released a new song recently called Dear Future Husband. My god. The first time I heard it my jaw dropped open and it remained that way until the song was over. 
"You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I'm acting crazy" - how detrimental to women it that? Remember, girls are CRAAAZZY EMOTIONAL folks! And don't even get me started on the line where she insinuates opening doors for her will get the guy a blowjob...

It seems to me that she's just reaffirming stereotypes about women being emotional, irrational, selfish, materialistic, high maintenance, etc etc.

Then again, it does seem to be okay for men to do this kinda thing in their songs, (Chris Brown anyone?) but when women talk about their perfect SO they're being picky and bitchy. It is definitely not in every song to grace the radio, but there are enough that it is quite alarming. 

So thinking about it, it could be the case that Meghan Trainor is writing these songs satirically. Maybe she has actually been writing back at similar pop songs written by male artists, that are full of their own requirements for a lady - the way she looks, dances and behaves.

But if Meghan is actually being "satirical," these messages are almost certainly lost within these bloody catchy songs, as young girls sing along mindlessly. Plus the idea of body acceptance seems to be a one way street. All the men depicted in the Dr Future Husband video are all chiseled and handsome. Not once do you see a fat, average-looking dude with a slight double chin.

Serious | Ageism

Old people have it tougher than most.

Not only are most of them quietly battling with their weakening immune systems and stiffening joints, but they are also facing the barrage of ageist messages that crop up almost constantly in the media. The Guardian makes a point of emphasizing the way in which older generations are cast aside by the fast-paced and inclusive city landscape, where only the youth are catered to.

But unlike the other more prominent "ism's" within our culture, ageism thrives. 
While sexism and racism are both being challenged and thwarted wherever possible, ageism tends to be overlooked as an issue.

Persistent stereotypes about old people include;

1. The idea that old people are all senile. Although Alzheimer's and Dementia do affect older people more than any other demographic, most old people continue to be self-sufficient well into advanced age, with many continuing to share their skills, knowledge and talents with those around them.
2. That they are a burden on society. Again, the idea that older people have nothing to contribute to society is false. Old people continue to discover things all the time and they can pick up new talents just like anybody else!
3. Older people enjoy sex. In fact, some studies claim that people's sex lives become more adventurous due to better self-esteem, matured views on body image and fortified intimate relationships. Older people who enjoy regular sex in their 60's and 70's may even live longer than their chaste counterparts, benefiting from a sense of well-being and may even fend off things like heart disease!

These pervasive attitudes towards the elderly have really negative affects. 
Age discrimination in employment is very real, and our culture on the whole is very youth-oriented, to the point when society excludes the middle-aged and the elderly. 
When focusing on job discrimination, people who are older are (stereotypically speaking) much less likely to be hired than younger people because they are seen as less adaptable, more set in their ways, harder to train and less energetic. But ageism also swings in the opposite direction, with the marginalization and political powerlessness of younger people being equally as problematic.

Think about the ways in which our society views older people. Maybe it's Silicone valley's obsession with youth,
or the way Disney villains are always depicted as older than the hero/heroine. 

Ageist attitudes are everywhere and it's up to us to challenge these negative stereotypes about age. 
Old people are no different than you are me and one day, we'll both be old ourselves! 

Poetry | (1st poem of the year!)

• Ode to Reddit

That obnoxious mix

of teenage male hormones and conservative hicks, 

that believe their wisdom's legit.

Reddit loves "good" folk;

That is, the strictly middle class white male

and the dick that he strokes.

What an upstanding bloke!

He has a right to evoke disgust

and to unduly provoke, 

A change to the 'quo.

Behold, the circle-jerk bastion,

the vulgar online plateau! 

Sexism | Men

Sexism affects us all. It's a fact. 
Our lives are shaped by the gender expectations society places upon us. 
We are "meant" for certain roles and if we don't fit, then we simply don't belong.
Women have definitely suffered under the tyranny of overt sexism, but the more implicit types of sexism can be just as potent, such as the well-meaning and valiant ideas surrounding Chivalric romance. 

The men in these tales of Chivalry are noble, active and heroic protectors. 
Yet the women are commonly depicted as "prizes to be won" by the knight, passively awaiting their savior to defend them from the dragon. 
This binary representation of men and women places people of both sexes into a role. Even the seemingly positive attributes placed on the male character can have adverse affects on real men.

So these apparently harmless, sentimental tales can also be as detrimental in the long run as denying women the vote, for they strengthen preexisting gender norms that have been created due to our socialization. 
This happens during our interactions with family, peers, teachers and exposure to mass media. This exposure to assumptions about gender and sex eventually makes people think that gender differences are "natural", rather than socially constructed.It's important to note here that sex relates to our primary and secondary sexual characteristics, whereas the term gender refers to the social and cultural differences between men and women. 
(This may be strange to learn if you have never heard of this distinction before!) 

The roles men are expected to fulfill are reinforced via mediums like action movies, that feature strong, muscular heroes that win the girl, become successful and remain stoic in the face of adversity. Many video games today also feature strong, masculine, tough-guy characters that handle their emotions tersely at best and show little if any personal development and growth. 

So the list of central masculine traits include:

• Aggression (passivity being feminine)
• Physical Strength (frailness, weakness and daintiness being feminine) 
• Dominance (subordination being feminine)

These stereotypical male traits place a great amount of pressure on men to be "the tough guy, the breadwinner, the seducer" among many other archetypes. These ideological male figures adhere to the predominant thoughts that surround what a man is supposed to be like; the opposite of a woman. 
To be considered feminine is "disgraceful", because it defies expected norms and the abnormal is usually shunned or feared in most societies. 
This hostility towards the feminine male could also be because-if a man adopts female traits-he is essentially downgrading himself to a woman's status, since women have historically endured more extreme sexist treatment. 
Whereas when a woman adopts some masculine traits, she's upgrading her status to that of the historically advantaged male. 

Defying these expectations can often be very difficult. 
Even today, the cry of "man up" can usually be heard when some poor guy bears his soul to all and states how he feels. 
"Men don't express emotions, they repress them" is the main message of this very common sound-bite. Saying things like "man up" also affect how women view themselves. They're now cast into the "emotional women" role. 

We need to defy these roles. 
People should embrace whatever traits they feel comfortable expressing, since gender expression is variable and every individual is different.