Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Sexism | "I'm not like other girls."

You know that girl. The girl who insists that "she's not like others girls." 

Maybe she likes sports.

Maybe she doesn't wear make-up. 

Maybe she's only friends with guys, because "girls are too catty/bitchy/mean, amirite?"

But what I think it sometimes means is "I don't want men to treat me like I see them treat other women." Because sometimes, that's what it really is all about. 

Maybe without even realizing it, these women want to separate themselves from the stereotypes placed upon certain women. 

Let's face it, maybe girls have overheard the way men talk about specific types of women. These conversations are also replicated in film, television and video games. These types of women are the ones that men are encouraged not to understand, or relate to in anyway. 

Like the ladies who enjoy reading fashion magazines, as opposed to Jean-Paul Sartre. Or the ladies who like playing Animal Crossing on Facebook, as opposed to a lady who has invested 500 hours playing Red Orchestra on Steam. Or the ladies who enjoy casual, no-strings-attached sex, as opposed to the girl who is strictly monogamous.

Maybe, when a women says "she's not like other girls" she's actually trying to gain respect and be viewed as worthy of male companionship. 

So, whenever a guy says something like "I like you, you're not like most girls," 
consider that a red flag. 

It could mean that he's successfully compartmentalized half the population into one (often negative) and narrow-minded world view...aka, a sexist one. 
Where women with interests he doesn't understand are not good enough.

Now, if he finished the sentence with "you aren't like other girls that I have been with," then that's alright. Maybe you aren't like the previous girls he's been with (but if he goes on and adds that "all my exes were CRAZY" then we've looped right back to red flag territory, but I digress). 

I'm not attempting to speak for all women though. Or wholly blame men.
This is just my explanation of why some women insist they aren't like other women. 

I mean, there are a lot of women who put down other ladies simply because they're not "feminine enough". 
It goes away as we grow, but some women remain firmly attached to the whole feminine = woman thing.  
It's usually pushed by the girls who just want extra attention from guys, because of the reasons I've mentioned above.

It's ultimately the internalized misogyny that is mass produced on a day-to-day basis that I blame for our attitudes and beliefs about gender roles.